The first angel went and poured out his bowl on the land, and ugly and painful sores broke out on the people who had the mark of the beast and worshiped his image. (Revelation 16:2)
I’ve never been very interested in studying the end times, since even the 1st century Christians thought that Jesus was coming back in their lifetime. Every generation seems to hope that they will be the ones (at least, the ones who believe in a pre-tribulation rapture). However, I went out with a hospice nurse the other day, and we visited a client who has MRSA (an antibiotic-resistant infection that has become increasingly common). I asked how this woman could have contracted it, and she said that as health care workers, both she and I would probably test positive for MRSA … it’s around, sometimes having become part of the body’s normal bacterial flora, and people are not aware that they have it. She said that it can manifest as painful boils … and I immediately thought of the above passage.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Reflections on co-dependency
Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ … for each one should carry his own load. (Galatians 6:2a, 5)
Co-dependency involves doing too much for a person, because “each one should carry his own load”. A friend in a 12 step group gave me this definition of enabling: “Doing something for someone that the person needs to do for him or herself”. I do not believe that people are free from co-dependency when they let other people take care of their responsibilities without their help while they concentrate on taking care of their own responsibilities. I do not think that that approach is caring, I think it is selfish. It also does not demonstrate interdependence, which should define healthy relationships.
One of the keys is WHY you are helping the other person. If you are doing it to enhance your self esteem, then you may have good intentions, but you are not truly loving, because you are doing it for yourself and often out of compulsion. The main way that I can tell that I am enabling someone is when I start to resent them. Then I realize that I am helping them because I think I have to rather than because I really want to. Caring done out of compulsion is not true caring. True caring is done because you want to, and you don't care what the person's response is. It is giving an unconditional gift. God’s love is like that.
In addition to WHY you are helping the person, the other key is WHAT IS THE BEST WAY to help them. Usually the best way to help people is to empower them (unless they are truly not capable). The reason that this is better than doing it for them is because it helps them learn and grow as people, whereas doing something for them often results in them doing and learning very little. That is why I like my friend's question: "Am I doing something for this person that he/she needs to be doing for him or herself?" to determine if I am helping too much (i.e. enabling). Helping people with their ordinary day-to-day responsibilities is done when you WANT TO. I find that not only do I feel resentful towards people when I enable them, but they resent me also because I am not treating them like responsible, capable adults. Enabling is very destructive to relationships.
When people are going through difficult experiences (loss, illness, etc.) that is the time to help them even if you don’t want to (“carry each other’s burdens”) – that is sacrificial love. The amazing thing is that as we are conformed to the image of Christ, we WANT TO help people more and more, so it becomes a joy rather than a sacrifice.
Co-dependency involves doing too much for a person, because “each one should carry his own load”. A friend in a 12 step group gave me this definition of enabling: “Doing something for someone that the person needs to do for him or herself”. I do not believe that people are free from co-dependency when they let other people take care of their responsibilities without their help while they concentrate on taking care of their own responsibilities. I do not think that that approach is caring, I think it is selfish. It also does not demonstrate interdependence, which should define healthy relationships.
One of the keys is WHY you are helping the other person. If you are doing it to enhance your self esteem, then you may have good intentions, but you are not truly loving, because you are doing it for yourself and often out of compulsion. The main way that I can tell that I am enabling someone is when I start to resent them. Then I realize that I am helping them because I think I have to rather than because I really want to. Caring done out of compulsion is not true caring. True caring is done because you want to, and you don't care what the person's response is. It is giving an unconditional gift. God’s love is like that.
In addition to WHY you are helping the person, the other key is WHAT IS THE BEST WAY to help them. Usually the best way to help people is to empower them (unless they are truly not capable). The reason that this is better than doing it for them is because it helps them learn and grow as people, whereas doing something for them often results in them doing and learning very little. That is why I like my friend's question: "Am I doing something for this person that he/she needs to be doing for him or herself?" to determine if I am helping too much (i.e. enabling). Helping people with their ordinary day-to-day responsibilities is done when you WANT TO. I find that not only do I feel resentful towards people when I enable them, but they resent me also because I am not treating them like responsible, capable adults. Enabling is very destructive to relationships.
When people are going through difficult experiences (loss, illness, etc.) that is the time to help them even if you don’t want to (“carry each other’s burdens”) – that is sacrificial love. The amazing thing is that as we are conformed to the image of Christ, we WANT TO help people more and more, so it becomes a joy rather than a sacrifice.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
A Disputable Matter
“Accept those whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters.” (Romans 14:1)
Division in the Church of Jesus Christ grieves me. A new Christian once asked me “Why are there so many different churches and denominations?” It was hard to answer! There is a lot of quarreling among different Christian groups.
“That they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me.” (John 17:21)
Are you seeing that? I see some, but not as much as I would like. What did Jesus say would be the result of Christian unity? “That the world may believe.” Now, I’m not saying we should abandon the essential doctrines of the Christian faith. If we cannot unify around these, such as that Jesus was God, that He died on the cross to defeat the power of sin and death and make it possible for us to be reconciled to the Father, that He was resurrected, etc. then we cannot be in unity. The big question is, what is an essential doctrine and what is a disputable matter?
I believe that the role of women in the church is a disputable matter. My personal conviction is that women can Biblically take on a variety of roles in the church, including being a pastor, and I would defend my position with scriptural support. I know and am friends with other people who believe that women can Biblically take on only certain prescribed roles, also based on their understanding of scripture. I have seen some very severe division and fighting between the two sides over this issue. I wish both sides would agree to disagree on this issue so that we could be in unity “that the world may believe.”
Division in the Church of Jesus Christ grieves me. A new Christian once asked me “Why are there so many different churches and denominations?” It was hard to answer! There is a lot of quarreling among different Christian groups.
“That they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me.” (John 17:21)
Are you seeing that? I see some, but not as much as I would like. What did Jesus say would be the result of Christian unity? “That the world may believe.” Now, I’m not saying we should abandon the essential doctrines of the Christian faith. If we cannot unify around these, such as that Jesus was God, that He died on the cross to defeat the power of sin and death and make it possible for us to be reconciled to the Father, that He was resurrected, etc. then we cannot be in unity. The big question is, what is an essential doctrine and what is a disputable matter?
I believe that the role of women in the church is a disputable matter. My personal conviction is that women can Biblically take on a variety of roles in the church, including being a pastor, and I would defend my position with scriptural support. I know and am friends with other people who believe that women can Biblically take on only certain prescribed roles, also based on their understanding of scripture. I have seen some very severe division and fighting between the two sides over this issue. I wish both sides would agree to disagree on this issue so that we could be in unity “that the world may believe.”
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Faith in What?
Jesus answered and said to them, “Have faith in God.” (Mark 11:22)
I was raised Presbyterian and am now a member of an independent charismatic church. I often feel torn between these two worlds, between “sola scriptura” (a statement of the Reformation that the Bible alone should be the authority), and the reality that God still speaks to us today (John 10:27). One of the aspects of some streams of the charismatic movement that has always bothered me is the emphasis on faith as a kind of tool to be wielded. The other day I read the following, which I found very helpful:
“In some Christian circles an unhealthy emphasis is placed on positive thinking or positive confession – the idea that whatever we believe or verbally affirm will become a reality. Although it is a mark of vibrant faith to maintain a Biblical optimism in the face of obstacles, an overemphasis on positive thinking may come perilously close to the New Age idea that thought controls reality and that we are masters of the world. This view overlooks the mystery of God’s providence, his final control of all events.”
Douglas Groothuis, “Unmasking the New Age”, p. 172
As Mark 11:22 says, our faith is in God, not in faith itself.
I was raised Presbyterian and am now a member of an independent charismatic church. I often feel torn between these two worlds, between “sola scriptura” (a statement of the Reformation that the Bible alone should be the authority), and the reality that God still speaks to us today (John 10:27). One of the aspects of some streams of the charismatic movement that has always bothered me is the emphasis on faith as a kind of tool to be wielded. The other day I read the following, which I found very helpful:
“In some Christian circles an unhealthy emphasis is placed on positive thinking or positive confession – the idea that whatever we believe or verbally affirm will become a reality. Although it is a mark of vibrant faith to maintain a Biblical optimism in the face of obstacles, an overemphasis on positive thinking may come perilously close to the New Age idea that thought controls reality and that we are masters of the world. This view overlooks the mystery of God’s providence, his final control of all events.”
Douglas Groothuis, “Unmasking the New Age”, p. 172
As Mark 11:22 says, our faith is in God, not in faith itself.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Two Emus
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only [Son], who came from the Father, full of grace and truth … Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. (John 1:14, 16-17, TNIV)
Truth without grace is judgment … grace without truth is license.
Dr. Henry Cloud, Changes That Heal
There are two emus that live in a field that I pass by on my morning walk. Since encountering someone else feeding them bread scraps, I have been bringing my own bread along to feed them. Sometimes they act disinterested as they slowly come up to the fence, and at other times they sprint across the yard towards me, which is thrilling. Their owner told me that they have no names, and I have been considering what to call them, as I enjoy calling out and talking to the various animals that line my walk (horses, dogs, emus, and at various times cats, a buffalo, a goat, pigs, and burros). One emu has a straight beak and is more assertive, the other has a twisted beak and is more shy. I have decided to call the former emu “Truth” and the latter emu “Grace” to remind me of the importance and balance of these two attributes, perfectly embodied in Jesus Christ.
Truth without grace is judgment … grace without truth is license.
Dr. Henry Cloud, Changes That Heal
There are two emus that live in a field that I pass by on my morning walk. Since encountering someone else feeding them bread scraps, I have been bringing my own bread along to feed them. Sometimes they act disinterested as they slowly come up to the fence, and at other times they sprint across the yard towards me, which is thrilling. Their owner told me that they have no names, and I have been considering what to call them, as I enjoy calling out and talking to the various animals that line my walk (horses, dogs, emus, and at various times cats, a buffalo, a goat, pigs, and burros). One emu has a straight beak and is more assertive, the other has a twisted beak and is more shy. I have decided to call the former emu “Truth” and the latter emu “Grace” to remind me of the importance and balance of these two attributes, perfectly embodied in Jesus Christ.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
In Celebration of Narnia
My favorite passage from the Chronicles of Narnia: Jill’s first encounter with Aslan the lion in The Silver Chair. She has sought and found a stream, but the lion lies in her path.
“Are you not thirsty?’ said the Lion.
“I’m dying of thirst,” said Jill.
“Then drink,” said the Lion.
“May I – could I – would you mind going away while I do?” said Jill.
The Lion answered this only by a look and a low growl. And as Jill gazed at its motionless bulk, she realized that she might as well have asked the whole mountain to move aside for her convenience.
The delicious rippling sound of the stream was driving her nearly frantic.
“Will you promise not to – do anything to me, if I do come?” said Jill.
“I make no promise,” said the Lion.
Jill was so thirsty now that, without noticing it, she had come a step nearer.
“Do you eat girls?” she said.
“I have swallowed up boys and girls, women and men, kings and emperors, cities and realms,” said the Lion. It didn’t say this as if it were boasting, nor as if it were sorry, nor as if it were angry. It just said it.
“I daren’t come and drink,” said Jill.
“Then you will die of thirst,” said the Lion.
“Oh dear!” said Jill, coming another step nearer. “I suppose I must go and look for another stream then.”
“There is no other stream,” said the Lion.
“Are you not thirsty?’ said the Lion.
“I’m dying of thirst,” said Jill.
“Then drink,” said the Lion.
“May I – could I – would you mind going away while I do?” said Jill.
The Lion answered this only by a look and a low growl. And as Jill gazed at its motionless bulk, she realized that she might as well have asked the whole mountain to move aside for her convenience.
The delicious rippling sound of the stream was driving her nearly frantic.
“Will you promise not to – do anything to me, if I do come?” said Jill.
“I make no promise,” said the Lion.
Jill was so thirsty now that, without noticing it, she had come a step nearer.
“Do you eat girls?” she said.
“I have swallowed up boys and girls, women and men, kings and emperors, cities and realms,” said the Lion. It didn’t say this as if it were boasting, nor as if it were sorry, nor as if it were angry. It just said it.
“I daren’t come and drink,” said Jill.
“Then you will die of thirst,” said the Lion.
“Oh dear!” said Jill, coming another step nearer. “I suppose I must go and look for another stream then.”
“There is no other stream,” said the Lion.
Monday, April 14, 2008
A New Adventure Begins
I haven't posted anything in many months, having lost the momentum of wanting to write as well as being focused on completing my remaining nursing pre-requisites. I may start writing again when my current semester is over in May.
Meanwhile, I wanted to announce that I have just been accepted into upper division Nursing classes at ASU West; I will start the 16 month program in August. I have been working toward this goal for the last year and a half and am grateful for this opportunity. God is good!
Meanwhile, I wanted to announce that I have just been accepted into upper division Nursing classes at ASU West; I will start the 16 month program in August. I have been working toward this goal for the last year and a half and am grateful for this opportunity. God is good!
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