Saturday, July 28, 2007
It’s Hard to Help People
Recently I went to a conference for faith-based organizations. The lunchtime speaker (Tracy Williams), who was quite humorous, said “It’s hard to help people!” I laughed quite hard (I think the people I was with at the conference thought that was a bit strange). The reason I laughed so hard is because it’s true! It’s hard to help people! And the principal reason why is because so many times, people don’t want to be helped! How many times have I seen things like an addict consumed by his addiction or a parent enabling her adult child, and my heart goes out to them. They are so in need of truth and freedom! But until the Holy Spirit convicts and shows them that fact, the best way we can help is to pray. Although we can do things like offer a struggling person support and accountability, or suggest that they go to a support group or Christian counselor, which may help if the person is truly motivated to change, in my experience, a breakthrough rarely occurs that way. Most people (including myself) have to come to the end of their rope, and the end of themselves, and cry out to Jesus for help – and then He answers and starts to do His work. That’s when we can come alongside a person. I am exactly the same way. I am so stubborn and willful that the Lord has had to practically break me in half in a major way at least three times over the course of my life to bring me back into intimate fellowship with Him (and he does so in less dramatic ways on a continual basis). But He is always faithful to do so. All praise and glory to Him.
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7 comments:
Isn't also interesting that those who do want help i.e., usually health related, cannot receive? I have a chaplain ministry and it seems that the person almost has to be unconscious for the Lord to work a miracle in them. It is really hard for us to get out of the way to let the Lord have His way. Or those that say they did receive and because it wasn't an instantaneous miracle, they don't have the faith or patience to let the miracle work over time and let doubt steal the miracle. How often are we double minded in our ways?
You bring up some excellent points. It is very hard for those (myself included) whose first tendency is to try to accomplish things in their own strength to forget themselves and focus only on Him, putting away expectations about how the Lord will answer or work in a particular situation.
Beth, it is hard to help people. I just spent about 30 minutes on the phone with someone Ihave helped way too much financially - and the person doesn't get it - I am losing patience... got any ideas???
Ron, been there, done that, seeking a new way to do it! I have a couple of ideas. First, which you probably have already decided, don’t give the person any more money, no matter how much it looks like they need it. Since the person isn’t getting it, giving them money is not helping. People who need money are amazingly proficient at finding people who will give it to them, so they will be OK. Second, to limit frustrating phone conversations, do something that I read about in a book once. The author had people calling her and complaining about the same old thing. So she would ask the person “Have you done the last thing that we agreed you should do?” If the answer was no, she would end the conversation. Third (actually this should be first), pray for the person.
Well, certainly praying is in order.
I have helped this person out - there is not more $$ for him - just wish he would begin repaying what i have lent him so far.
Sorry, Ron, I misunderstood your question. I have no idea how to get someone to repay you. Again, been there, done that. The policy I’ve adopted is that I never lend money to anyone unless I don’t really expect it back. That prevents resentment from occurring if they never pay it back. Proverbs 22:26 says “Do not be among those who give pledges, among those who become guarantors for debts.” (NASB)
Good words.
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