“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22)
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25)
So much has been written and said about the above verses that I don’t want to add too much, other than that the instructions to wives (Eph 5:22-24) have often been taught in isolation rather than together with the corresponding instructions to husbands (Eph 5:25-30), which results in distortion of the intent of the entire passage (all of the verses should be read, I just provided a few of them above for the sake of brevity). Mostly I provide them as a backdrop to a story in which I believe I gained some insight into them, despite the fact that I have never been married. First, some personal background: in my high school and college years, I was an ardent feminist who was easily angered by perceived male chauvinism. Over the years I became less zealous, as I noticed that my anger and indignation had no effect on the men I was angry at, so why bother? But, Eph 5:22-24 continued to bother me just to read them, as they seemed to me to be associated with abusive male dominance (as sadly, they frequently have been). In the Fall of 2005 I had the opportunity to go to Mississippi to do relief work for Hurricane Katrina. I announced the trip at church to recruit some people to go with me. One person who responded with interest was Marshia, who I hoped would go since she is a delightful woman and a very hard worker; she would have been a great asset to the team. However, when I later called Marshia to follow up, she told me, “Ted [her husband] says I shouldn’t go.” Although I didn’t say so, I was incensed. Sorry Ted, but the following thoughts went through my mind: “Mean Ted! Evil Ted! He’s preventing her from doing the Lord’s work! This is outrageous!” A few days later I saw Marshia and she told me, “I was in a traffic jam the other day for about an hour, and my knee is in a lot of pain from having to keep it in one position. I’m so glad that Ted had the wisdom to tell me not to go on the trip.” I was floored. Sorry Ted, for thinking those false and nasty thoughts about you. Sorry God, for not understanding that Your Word does have proper application, even if people sometimes misuse it.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Saturday, August 18, 2007
The “S” Word
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:21)
Submission. I jokingly called it the “S” word because the very sound of it sets many people’s teeth on edge. The idea of submission is distasteful to our fallen human natures; we want to be our own masters. Not long ago I was in a group of people where the subject of submission came up, and several men said “Oh, that’s an issue for women, not men.” That is not correct. Lest someone think that that is a liberal, feminist viewpoint, I like the footnote in the MacArthur Study Bible, written by John MacArthur, who would never be accused of being either a liberal or a feminist:
“Paul here made a transition and introduced his teaching about specific relationships of authority and submission among Christians (5:22-6:9) by declaring unequivocally that every spirit-filled Christian is to be a humble, submissive Christian. This is foundational to all the relationships in this section.”
Every Christian is called to submission, first of all to the Lord Jesus Christ, but also, as Eph 5:21 indicates, to other Christians. In addition, Christians are called to be subject to governmental authorities (Romans 13:1) and to employers (the modern day equivalent of master/servant or master/slave relationships for which there are many verses, such as Eph 6:5)
Submission. I jokingly called it the “S” word because the very sound of it sets many people’s teeth on edge. The idea of submission is distasteful to our fallen human natures; we want to be our own masters. Not long ago I was in a group of people where the subject of submission came up, and several men said “Oh, that’s an issue for women, not men.” That is not correct. Lest someone think that that is a liberal, feminist viewpoint, I like the footnote in the MacArthur Study Bible, written by John MacArthur, who would never be accused of being either a liberal or a feminist:
“Paul here made a transition and introduced his teaching about specific relationships of authority and submission among Christians (5:22-6:9) by declaring unequivocally that every spirit-filled Christian is to be a humble, submissive Christian. This is foundational to all the relationships in this section.”
Every Christian is called to submission, first of all to the Lord Jesus Christ, but also, as Eph 5:21 indicates, to other Christians. In addition, Christians are called to be subject to governmental authorities (Romans 13:1) and to employers (the modern day equivalent of master/servant or master/slave relationships for which there are many verses, such as Eph 6:5)
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Eliminating corrosion
“Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.” (Psalm 37:8)
I looked up the word “fret” at www.dictionary.com and found the following:
fret
–verb (used without object)
1. to feel or express worry, annoyance, discontent, or the like: Fretting about the lost ring isn't going to help.
2. to cause corrosion; gnaw into something: acids that fret at the strongest metals.
3. to make a way by gnawing, corrosion, wearing away, etc.: The river frets at its banks until a new channel is formed.
4. to become eaten, worn, or corroded (often fol. by away): Limestone slowly frets away under pounding by the wind and rain.
5. to move in agitation or commotion, as water: water fretting over the stones of a brook.
–verb (used with object)
6. to torment; irritate, annoy, or vex: You mustn't fret yourself about that.
7. to wear away or consume by gnawing, friction, rust, corrosives, etc.: the ocean fretting its shores.
8. to form or make by wearing away a substance: The river had fretted an underground passage.
9. to agitate (water): Strong winds were fretting the channel.
I thought it was quite interesting how worry, irritation, anxiety, discontent, etc. have a corrosive effect. They are unproductive, waste energy, and yes, are a kind of torment. Therefore I’m trying to get rid of them and apply this verse:
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (I Peter 5:7)
I looked up the word “fret” at www.dictionary.com and found the following:
fret
–verb (used without object)
1. to feel or express worry, annoyance, discontent, or the like: Fretting about the lost ring isn't going to help.
2. to cause corrosion; gnaw into something: acids that fret at the strongest metals.
3. to make a way by gnawing, corrosion, wearing away, etc.: The river frets at its banks until a new channel is formed.
4. to become eaten, worn, or corroded (often fol. by away): Limestone slowly frets away under pounding by the wind and rain.
5. to move in agitation or commotion, as water: water fretting over the stones of a brook.
–verb (used with object)
6. to torment; irritate, annoy, or vex: You mustn't fret yourself about that.
7. to wear away or consume by gnawing, friction, rust, corrosives, etc.: the ocean fretting its shores.
8. to form or make by wearing away a substance: The river had fretted an underground passage.
9. to agitate (water): Strong winds were fretting the channel.
I thought it was quite interesting how worry, irritation, anxiety, discontent, etc. have a corrosive effect. They are unproductive, waste energy, and yes, are a kind of torment. Therefore I’m trying to get rid of them and apply this verse:
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (I Peter 5:7)
Monday, August 6, 2007
Helping People Without Enabling
A friend gave me the following definition for enabling: “Doing things for people that they need to be doing for themselves.” In trying to help people, I have often fallen into this trap. I call it a trap because it doesn’t work; what ends up happening is that I do things for the person but feel resentful, while the other person enjoys having things done for him/her, resents me for babying him/her, or in most cases, some combination of the two. In seeking a way out of this trap, I use the following Scripture as a guideline:
Galatians 6:2,5 “Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ … for each one should carry his own load.”
At first glance, this may seem like a contradiction, but it is not. The Greek word translated “burdens” is baros, which means “weight” or “heavy”, while the Greek word translated “load” is phortion which means “a task or service”. We are to help people carry burdens which are heavy on them; the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, etc. while each adult is to shoulder his or her own personal responsibilities (supporting him or herself, managing money, etc.). When helping people in crisis, take note of whether it is a normal event, or a repetitive situation caused by their own choices. If the latter, the goal should be to help them move toward responsible independence, or rather, appropriate interdependence – on God and on others. Not doing so creates unhealthy dependency which is not good for either party. Compassionate people with the gift of mercy are particularly prone to enabling. If you think you might be prone to this, ask yourself before helping someone, “Is this something that the person needs to be doing for himself?” [I wish there was a gender neutral possessive pronoun in English that could be applied to people]. If so, don’t do it. You will actually be helping the other person more by encouraging him to grow as a person by taking personal responsibility.
Example:
Helping: encouraging someone who is looking for a job, holding him/her accountable if necessary
Enabling: finding a job for someone
Again, I find that asking myself the question helps clarify the appropriate action in each situation. There may be other circumstances to be considered, such as mental illness, and someone who has not been used to taking personal responsibility for himself is going to take some time to learn how, but in general I find that people tend to be capable of more than we think they are and rise to the occasion.
Galatians 6:2,5 “Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ … for each one should carry his own load.”
At first glance, this may seem like a contradiction, but it is not. The Greek word translated “burdens” is baros, which means “weight” or “heavy”, while the Greek word translated “load” is phortion which means “a task or service”. We are to help people carry burdens which are heavy on them; the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, etc. while each adult is to shoulder his or her own personal responsibilities (supporting him or herself, managing money, etc.). When helping people in crisis, take note of whether it is a normal event, or a repetitive situation caused by their own choices. If the latter, the goal should be to help them move toward responsible independence, or rather, appropriate interdependence – on God and on others. Not doing so creates unhealthy dependency which is not good for either party. Compassionate people with the gift of mercy are particularly prone to enabling. If you think you might be prone to this, ask yourself before helping someone, “Is this something that the person needs to be doing for himself?” [I wish there was a gender neutral possessive pronoun in English that could be applied to people]. If so, don’t do it. You will actually be helping the other person more by encouraging him to grow as a person by taking personal responsibility.
Example:
Helping: encouraging someone who is looking for a job, holding him/her accountable if necessary
Enabling: finding a job for someone
Again, I find that asking myself the question helps clarify the appropriate action in each situation. There may be other circumstances to be considered, such as mental illness, and someone who has not been used to taking personal responsibility for himself is going to take some time to learn how, but in general I find that people tend to be capable of more than we think they are and rise to the occasion.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
24/7 Worship
Since I discovered it last night, I have been watching video off and on of "Harp and Bowl" style worship and intercession (Rev. 5:8) in the Prayer Room at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City. It is amazing. I did not know that this existed. The huge majority of those worshipping and praying are young people late 20's to younger. There are several choices available, including audio only, but I'm glad I went for the video as it is extremely moving to see young people pouring out their hearts to God. According to the web site, you can try the service out free for seven days (I subscribed for a month of video for $10). The web site is www.ihop.org.
An addendum to my original post:
As I continue to watch this, I realize that some people are not going to like it at all, and that's OK. I have been sampling it for less than 24 hours so I don't know all of the content but from what I have seen so far there are a lot of repetitive praise choruses, so be forewarned. In fact, what I have seen is almost purely emotive expression (except for a part where young people lined up and prayed short prayers into the microphone, but those were fervent as well). I think that there's a place for emotive expression to God just like there's a place for apologetics presentations. I have a mind and I have emotions and I'm trying to figure out how to live in an appropriate balance. I wouldn't want to live in "The Prayer Room" at IHOP 100% of the time, but it's a place that I enjoy visiting.
An addendum to my original post:
As I continue to watch this, I realize that some people are not going to like it at all, and that's OK. I have been sampling it for less than 24 hours so I don't know all of the content but from what I have seen so far there are a lot of repetitive praise choruses, so be forewarned. In fact, what I have seen is almost purely emotive expression (except for a part where young people lined up and prayed short prayers into the microphone, but those were fervent as well). I think that there's a place for emotive expression to God just like there's a place for apologetics presentations. I have a mind and I have emotions and I'm trying to figure out how to live in an appropriate balance. I wouldn't want to live in "The Prayer Room" at IHOP 100% of the time, but it's a place that I enjoy visiting.
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